• "Sex education is a Communist plot..."
  • "Does your baby sitter look better coming in ..."
  • "Iron your sheets in the dryer."
  • "Did you ever meet your husband's secretary?"
  • "Don't think of it as $20 an ounce."
  • "In a few weeks this striped bass ..,"
  • "Portrait of a man headed for a stroke."
  • "After 30 Volkswagens Father Bittman still believes."
  • "The next time you re out in public ..."
  • "If pro soccer had a little more violence…”
  • "In Port Antonio, you still hear about the feats..."
  • “How to make your wife come on like a stranger."
  • "We know a land where the streets ..."
  • "My wife ran away with my best friend, and I miss him."
  • "If smoking gives you lung cancer..."
  • "I don't have anything against Negroes. I think every man should own one."
  • "Inside every American, there's a Frenchman trying to get out."
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