• "I don't have anything against Negroes. I think every man should own one."
  • "I like you just the way you are."
  • "If pro soccer had a little more violence…”
  • "If smoking gives you lung cancer..."
  • "In a few weeks this striped bass ..,"
  • "In memory of the 1,700,000 Americans..."
  • "In Port Antonio, you still hear about the feats..."
  • "Inside every American, there's a Frenchman trying to get out."
  • "Iron your sheets in the dryer."
  • "It takes you to extremes."
  • "It's ugly but it gets you there."
  • "Last night Mrs. Mary Powers..."
  • "Look at you, happy girl..."
  • "Make America a better place."
  • "Most travelling salesmen stories..."
  • "My wife ran away with my best friend, and I miss him."
  • "Newton's Law"
  • "Portrait of a man headed for a stroke."
  • "Sex education is a Communist plot..."
  • "She just paid $14.95..."
  • "Sportsword Puzzle"
  • "Suddenly it's 1932."
  • "The 60 mph motel."
  • "The best way to sell you..."
  • "The next time you re out in public ..."
  • "The Yardstick"
  • "Toilet paper is necessary...."
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