• "100 desperate gifts."
  • "90% of all people are caused by accidents."
  • "A free offer for people who have heartburn and a camera"
  • "A kid can look retarded, act retarded, and...”
  • "A new vacation where the dollar isn't all mighty,..."
  • "An intriguing alternative to Europe this summer."
  • "Be the other woman in your man's life"
  • "Besides your family doctor, this is perhaps the only man..."
  • "Charles Atlas on his 77th birthday."
  • "Dear American Tourister: You'll never believe this one."
  • "How to get tipsy with taste and dignity.”
  • "In Honduras, gasoline costs 52 cents a gallon."
  • "Is the economy trying to tell you something?"
  • "Is your dollar shrinking..."
  • "It can run the mile in 5 cents flat."
  • "It does 60 to 0 in 4 seconds flat”
  • "It doesn't take brains..."
  • "It takes this many men to inspect.."
  • "It's a shame so many people have seen San Juan..”
  • "My idol, the pimp."
  • "Not every place in Israel is mentioned in the Bible."
  • "Some toys hate war."
  • "The bank that wouldn't lend this man $2,000..."
  • "The high cost of being a hemophiliac.”
  • "The new color portable that won’t give you a hernia."
  • "The painting that made a marriage legal"
  • "The problem with many slow learners..."
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